American Wedding Quotes:

Cadence Flaherty: So, can I see the ring?
Steve Stifler: Nope. Promised to keep it safe. It's not leaving my pocket.
Cadence Flaherty: Okay, Frodo.

Anger Management Quotes:

Stacy: Uh, we're in the adult film industry, and, we're lovers.
Gina: Yeah.
Stacy: So Gina was having sex with this guy Meelo which was totally cool cause it was in the script.
Gina: So we invited him back to the house because we like a little variety...
Stacy: I look up and see Gina kissing Meelo on the MOUTH which is not cool, because it violates our threesome code of ethics!
Gina: So Stacy bit my toe off.
Stacy: Then Meelo starts yelling, calling me a crazy skank...
Gina: And nobody talks to my bitch that way.
Stacy: That's right.
Gina: So I stapled his lip SHUT.
Dave Buznik: Well, we've all... been there.

Stacy: [about Mayor Giuliani] Who is that guy?
Gina: I think it's Regis Philbin.

Dr. Buddy Rydell: Dave assaulted a female flight attendant.
Stacy: Nice.
Gina: I bet you beat her good.
Dave Buznik: i didn't beat anybody. I touched a woman...
Chuck: Liar, Bullshiter... you're a WOMAN BEATER! And you can't admit it because you're a deluded piece of garbage!

Misc Quotes:

"Why not show off if you've got something to show?"

"I choose roles that are not me."

"I was in lingerie on a trampoline and I had to jump into the air for eight hours. My legs were starting to buckle."

“I loved my after-school job at the Dairy Queen, though I’m sworn to secrecy about their recipes. I’d whip up my own concoctions, like mixing ice cream with their slushy—which is now called a Misty Freeze. I did that before it was even on their menu.”

“I almost threw my back out during a photo shoot in Paris; I was in lingerie on a trampoline and had to jump into the air and do weird poses for eight hours. The constant jumping made my legs start to buckle. And no one on the shoot spoke English, or at least they pretended they didn’t. I was so angry.”

“Hitchhiking seems romantic, but it’s too dangerous. And all those stories on Unsolved Mysteries have made people paranoid.”
-Maxim quotes: October 2001 (#46